see you at the bitter end.

another year started!

2009-09-02T17:22:02Z

Humm. It's been entirely too long since I've written here on LJ, hasn't it?

I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping up with my friends entries, you guys! I hope you're all well.
Me, I'm fairly okay. A lot's happened since my last entry.
I passed my first year of Japanese, yay! The new schoolyear's started just this week, and I'm settling into a new dorm(actually, it's more of a rented room, but I guess dorm is the shortest and most simple word for it) which is SO much better than my last one.

It's at least twice as big and relatively cheaper than the one I was in before-- plus, I very much doubt the landlady here will be as much of a hag as the last one! -.- I'll get to that story later, lest I get pissed again, haha.

Met a lot of new people, sadly had to see a lot of them go too, but I'm optimistic for the future.
And since I can never think of goals for New Year, I'll put some goals down for the new school term! Support me? xD;

1. Study (I'd like to say harder, but just... study in general xD)
2. Roleplay more
3. Draw more
4. Read more
5. Catch up with the internet friends I've neglected
6. Buy a loooottt of things without going bankrupt;
        - Harley Quinn costume
        - LARP weaponry(sword, shield, arrows)
        - Chainmail
        - Slytherin fangear
        - Viinshar armour
        - Plate armour
        - Corsets
        - MOAR PS3 games
        - Movies that won't fit on my shelf
        - Finish Kingdom Hearts II in Proud Mode
7. Survive

Wish me luuucckkk.

horrificwhisper @ 2009-02-16T20:49:00

2009-02-16T20:05:41Z

Title: Casualties of war.
Author: horrificwhisper
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The characters and copyright in this story belong to their respective authors, horrificwhisper and boxedcrow. Please don't redistribute these or any other works of fiction on my livejournal or suffer my inescapable wrath. The Kingdom Hearts universe is copyrighted by Square Enix.
Description: Some things transcend the boundaries between good and bad.

The taste of ashes is thick on my tongue.
My voice is hoarse.
Left and right, my comrades are falling and with each dull thud of a body hitting the dust, I feel the pain in my heart increase.

Regardless, I keep barking orders wherever I can; they are falling on deaf ears, I know, for all that surrounds us now is the vast blackness made up of the endless swarms of Heartless closing in on us and we all know there is no hope.
Sometimes, I wonder if there ever was any.
I wonder if these past ten years of my life have been able to make a difference somewhere, for someone, or if my existence will fade into nothingness, the umpmillionth casualty of a war long since lost.

Deep down inside, I know it would only be right for me to join those I lost… Those I loved, in that very same fate.

The blood from a wound I can no longer discern from the ache in my body, blinds me as it seeps past my lashes and into my eye; my shoulders sagging under the weight of my armour and my Keyblade charred.But still they come, countless and relentless and all I can do is keep breathing. All I can do is keep my promise as best I can. For them…
For them, I’ll muster the strength to slaughter each and every Heartless here if that’s what it takes. Even if it costs me my heart, I won’t give up here.
They won’t be the face of my death.

So I breathe in deeply, rub the blood out of my eye as best as I can, and fuel my anger.

My veins burn and it’s like acid eating away at me from the inside out all over again and it’s so strong that I cannot be aware of my own exhaustion when my shoulders rectify and my grip on the Keyblade strengthens.
I don’t know how long I can keep this up, and I don’t care. They won’t win.
The Fira blasts out in all directions like an inferno and I follow suit, blind and deaf to what’s happening to the others and almost a spectator within my own body while it hacks away at whatever I can find—

“Hey, you doing alright, kid?”

The warm hand descending upon my shoulder takes me back to reality and I blink away something wet, a soft gasp of what almost sounds to be relief leaving my lips before I can stop myself. For a moment, I no longer burn or hurt.

But then the moment passes again and the ache has flooded me in the fire’s stead and there’s only that hand of his keeping me steady when my knees nearly give way under the abrupt change.
“Calm down and take a breather—I got your back.”
I don’t know when or how it started, and I don’t really want to think about it too much… But I believe in him.
He breaks down my walls with an ease that scares me; but while this is a vulnerability I would never dare show to anyone else… Part of me knows it’s safe with him.

I’m… Safe with him.

So I take my time to recollect myself, although I don’t allow room for letting anything try to attack Zephyrn in the back for protecting me.
Consequently missing out on the somewhat troubled look he casts over his shoulder at me as I finally charge back into the frey, will prove to be a vital mistake.

I attack with the same relentlessness they’ve shown us, slicing and ramming and casting spells wherever I can and with every fiber in my body on ready to give its all and honour everything I’ve ever tried to live this wretched life for, perhaps even with a speck of hope reborn into my heart now.
“Who’s got whose back again--?” There might have been a ghost of a smirk on my face as I turn to ensure he’s still alive and kicking as I’ve known him to be, but it’s gone faster than it could have manifested when I find myself eye to eye with him.
I part my lips to ask him why there is such sorrow in eyes, but then the pain hits me like a ten ton hammer.

I cannot help the tears of agony springing to my eyes or the trembling of my hands as they reach up to grasp the steel driven so suddenly into my body.
And I hate myself for it.
Metallic taste rushes across my tongue as I try desperately to stay on my legs, fingers wandering from the Keyblade to the fabric of his shirt and grasping tight onto it.
There is no way I can catch my voice when those warm hands release the blade and take gentle hold me lest I sink to the ground completely.

The need for me to voice my question must have become obsolete through the shock I cannot seem to shake, but he cannot bring himself to give me his reason.
Soft lips brush across mine, a whispered apology sweetening the taste of mortality in my mouth, but we both know I cannot come to have peace with this.

Eighteen as I lay dying in his arms, clenching my jaw as he ever so gently helps lower me to the ground and moves to pull the violator that is his Keyblade out of my body, perhaps so that I will not look so undignified in my last moments, but I manage to force out something that sounds so distant and weak that I have trouble believing it’s my own voice.
“N—no… L-l-leave it i-in…”
I’ve no doubt he’ll remove it when I’m gone, because any survivors need not know that it was by his hands I met my doom, but I refuse to deny what came to be the end of me.

… Not when what I feel now isn’t the hate or the shock I’d have expected to feel for having so very badly wanted to fulfil my promise.
Not when all I can do when he complies and cradles my head to his chest, is smile faintly.
I’m comforted, and safe.

It’s alright. Although I cannot be at peace with it, I have to accept this.
“Z-Zephyrn…”
Straight from the heart, I wish you will get what you wanted out of this.

Because now, it’s alright.

because wordles are awesome.

2008-08-30T22:53:35Z

You are The Quartermaster

You, me hearty, are a man or woman of action! And what action it is! Gruesome,
awful, delightful action. You mete out punishment to friend and foe alike
– well, mostly to foe, because your burning inner rage isn’t
likely to draw you a whole lot of the former. Still, though you may be
what today is called “high maintenance” and in the past was
called “bat-shit crazy,” the crew likes to have you around
because in a pinch your maniacal combat prowess may be the only thing
that saves them from Jack Ketch. When not in a pinch, the rest of the
crew will goad you into berserker mode because it’s just kind of
fun to watch. So you provide a double service – doling out discipline
AND entertainment.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

Je bent een
Sociaal Liberaal
(88% tolerant)

en een...
Economisch Liberaal
(6% tolerant)

Je valt het beste te omschrijven als een:

Socialist

Link: De PPP op OkCupid.com: Free Online Dating
Ook : De OkCupid Datingtest

</center>

Conquest 2008; snippet

2008-08-11T21:40:03Z

entry to be edited.

Conquest of Mythodea: Avatare vs. Fleshgolem from SaM on Vimeo.

Writer's Block: In the Event of a Zombie Emergency

2008-07-29T15:25:45Z

Are you prepared for a zombie outbreak, or are you just going to wing it?

View 500 Answers

I'm always prepared. D8 My current room's got (at least) ten sharp/bladed objects and one blunt... sword-shaped/potential bat weapon, a myriad of pens to stab with and several zombie films. =×

Also. My garage = larp heaven, meaning two leather armours(one full body, one chest) and chainmail soon to be added + a larp towershield. Which, despite it's foamy nature, can surely fend off at least one zombie!

And although I might not be able to take said sharp thingies and defensive gear with me as I'm about to move out to study in a different city, my new room shall be up four stories. =× And I know that somehow I'm going to end up having sharp things there too. *stabstab* TOTALLY PREPARED. 8D *paranoid*

horrificwhisper @ 2008-07-25T16:22:00

2008-07-25T14:45:37Z

Tell me a fandom and I'll tell you my...

One True Pairing Ship:
Canon Ship:
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship:
"You are one sick bastard" Ship:
"I dabble a little" Ship:
"It's like a car crash" Ship:
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship:
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship:
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship:

Because, we all know, I can't very well tell you the OTPs if I don't support the fandom. 8DD ANYWANKS. Yuu's (almost)master list o' (memory-worthy)fandoms(& it's not a MASTER list for nothing, don't complain if it's dorky!);;

Cartoons/anime(well, a general list of major fandoms here because I've watched like 300, and only very few have enough episodes or characters to form worthy OTPs DD8):
Spiderman
Batman
Sailor Moon
Pokémon(1st season)
Digimon(1st season)
Gundam Wing
Dragonball Z
Naruto
Bleach
Fullmetal Alchemist
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Shinzo

Movies:
The Matrix-trilogy
Star Wars(new trilogy)
Star Wars(original trilogy)
Night Watch
Battle Royale

Games
Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy X
Kingdom Hearts
Kingdom Hearts II
Tales of the Abyss
Devil May Cry 3
Devil May Cry 4

Books/comics/manga
Harry Potter
Lord of the Rings
Death Note
D. Gray-man
Kimi wa Pet
Shaman Warrior
Blade of the Immortal
Berserk
DOGS
Silver Diamond
Crimson Spell

Misc.
Supernatural
Lost
Heroes
PrisonBreak
The Tribe
LARP;; The Drifter
LARP;; Quon
LARP;; The Island
The Sauveterre Massacre
& all the roleplays I've got going on with T-Sers, of course. 8DD

on top of the world

2008-06-17T14:58:11Z

TAKE THAT, MOTHERFUCKERS.

(a.k.a. I passed my exams!)

eh.

2008-06-10T15:26:02Z

dear diary,

life sucks sometimes.

x

enter superiority complex

2008-03-28T23:49:51Z

Am-I-Dumb.com - Think You Are Smarter?

horrificwhisper @ 2008-03-18T19:06:00

2008-03-18T18:07:00Z

you're alive, so start living.

still not dead

2008-03-07T15:49:43Z

which is funny because my brain is. @.@ ugh just lots and lots of stress i don't feel like writing about, so there's something lol-worthy for you behind the cut.

God I hate celebrities(and also Dutchified sites), but look what you can do with 'em:

or, when I try a picture taken on a slightly worse day:

rofl. I'm not entirely sure which outcome I like most. ;D

30 seconds to mars at amsterdam

2008-02-10T13:38:44Z

Ladies and gents, I do believe I've fallen from all forms of grace and dignity and become a 30stm groupie. Oh, the epic fail.

But surely, I -am- going to see their every Dutch or otherwise reasonably reachable concert from now on, because it was just made of awesome. Like, it was even more badass than Apocalyptica.

So, I don't even know what to say, really. See this as maybe a summary of what happened because if I were to report it all, my fingers'd fall off.

Anyway, we had to stand in line for three hours before the Heineken Music Hall even opened its doors and that was uncomfortable to a stage you don't even want to know, ahaha. I was being squished constantly and if they'd pushed harder when the doors finally DID open, I imagine I would've cracked a rib or something.

Initially I actually managed to snatch a spot way up front with my friend, but the squishing and the heat was so bad that five girls passed out within half an hour of reaching the hall(and about an hour before the support act even began) and all the standing and the heat and the smoke was taking its toll on me too so unfortunately I had to leave my friend with my camera(only reason I was up front was in hopes of getting four or five good pictures of the band and then moving to the back but I didn't make it that long) and go to the back before I got floored as well. Which results in my friend having not shot a single proper picture. =/ (I suppose I could label it artistic but you just can't see shit on them and she couldn't even find the zoom button damnit).

Note to self: Bring a fucking awesome camera(maybe Rose's) next time and just go take a seat at the back anyway.

Because the sound at the back where I somehow, miraculously! managed to find mum without even realizing I was walking in her direction. And she in turn had somehow, miraculously! managed to end up sitting next to maybe the only two other people from our town, who had a camera with them and whose e-mail address I ought to have around here, so hopefully they have some good pictures(and it'll still kind of feel like they're mine since their view on the stage was the same as mine).

Went and bought a t-shirt(damnit Kayla I wanted one for you too but the sizes were really tiny and the properly sized ones were ugly?!) and the A Beautiful Lie cd because god knows you can't get it in a store anywhere in this dump.

Err then there was the support act, or rather there were two; the first was Dutch and a new 'talent' sponsored by our national music channel TMF and they were pretty good, actually; and then the second was... Maybe sort of a mix between techno-ish and rock? Idunno they reminded me of a crossbreed between Nine Inch Nails and Dope, and they were pretty damn awesome too. (Too bad their performance was just a little too long-- but the singer taking off his shirt made up for all that because he was FITTTTT).

And then the show finally began and it was just. The BEST thing ever. Or maybe the best thing of 2008, idk. I'm suspecting 90 percent of the people at the (sold out!)concert were there for Jared but man did Shannon kick arse too.
Also, also! They let a local Dutch guy play along during From Yesterday and I seriously wanted to shoot him and be up there instead.
... Shut up I'm sure I could play with if I'd just practiced my guitar a bit more.

Um other highlights. The crowd was awesome and interacting really well with Jared(who seems to have an obsession with making everyone go 'fucking crazy', as he put it) and I'm sure he spared his voice a great deal by making us sing about half of The Kill, A Beautiful Lie, and Attack.
I have no voice left.

Then at some point someone threw a barbie onto the stage and Jared stopped the music prior to questioning Tomo about wtf it was, pulling a pretty fucking awesome Ozzy Osbourne on it by biting its head off and spitting it into the public and calling it dinner.

Er later some girls who'd brought along bunny ear headbands threw them onto the stage, or rather one of them threw one at Tomo who proceeded to wear it, and then the other was thrown at a seriously wtf-ing Jared.
... Who also wore it during the next song, and the two of them looked just friggen' adorable like that. I wish I could've taken pictures right then. For now I'm just hoping someone else took a few good ones so I can later on proceed to pimp them here on LJ.

Also! Jared performed a solo acoustic on a few songs, including A Modern Myth, and it was soso pretty.
Later on Tomo provided some backup support in one of the songs and from there on the whole band continued playing a few more songs. It was way too short, but we managed to break all the rules, anyway-- mostly including those of the time limit the band had been giving and the horse-sized plaques on the wall stating clearly that there was to be NO CROWD SURFING.

Pretty good fucking luck with that, ahahaha.

Didn't stay for the afterparty because I had absolutely no energy left, but am surely there for their next Europe tour. (I don't suppose someone will sponsor me a flight ticket to Madrid so I can go see 'em there, eh? ;D)

art farts.

2008-01-18T15:49:52Z

metallicarsmex metallicarsmex metallicarsmex

behold, 'tis my new art fart/general visually creative thingamajiggies journal. and it be friends only. O=
anyway, any doodles and photos and such shall be posted there from now on, so feel free to request to be friended/friend me.

music meme

2007-12-18T17:04:27Z

Snagged from kiradyn_rhiode;
Go to the Wikipedia home page and click random article. That is your band's name.
Click random article again; that is your album name.
Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

Band Name: Rasskazovo
Album: Annexin A5 affinity assay
1. Dorr
2. Rwandan Genocide
3. John H Baker
4. Mid-Eastern Conference
5. Sweet Valerian
6. Samuel Blatchford
7. River Glenderamackin
8. Blank-Wave Arcade Remixes
9. King William and Naval Volunteer
10. Carolina Bays Parkway
11. Horodnia (air base)
12. City of the Beasts
13. Spending Time with Morgan
14. Klinkenberg
15. London Club

A Russian band name eh. Cool. 8D

What Sharré Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

My Liberal Identity:

You are a Peace Patroller, also known as an anti-war liberal or neo-hippie. You believe in putting an end to American imperial conquest, stopping wars that have already been lost, and supporting our troops by bringing them home.

Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com

er. right.

2007-11-20T18:42:45Z

I know, I know! It's been forever and a day again since my last entry, sorry about that. 8D;
It's just, life's been really hectic. Er, lessee now. Ah! I made the deadline for the Comics in Leipzig-contest even though it turned out to be crap; the whole making of the deadline was most important to me, really.
Thanks a bunch for helping me out, Kayla <3

Also, I got an A on my exam!
Granted, I'm now behind in all the other massive projects again. I've been trying, trust me, but I'd like a little time to myself every once in a while too?!
There's roleplays I haven't been keeping up with at all and am feeling really guilty about, and then there's driving lessons and drawing and internship from 9 am - 4 pm(not to mention schooldays that last LONGER) and for some reason I've had only one weekend to myself in the past 6 or so weeks?! Dx

Don't get me wrong, I love being in a band now and participating with LARP and going places, but WHEN DOES IT END?
... XD I think I need a vacation.

So how's life for you lot?

fire

2007-08-02T13:44:50Z

I BREATHED FIRE TODAY.

LIKE, SERIOUSLY. IT WAS SO COOL.

off to my first driving lesson now! <3

happy birthdayyy!

2007-07-31T17:46:43Z

happy birthday, Harry. <3

happy birtday, J.K., even though you screwed me over with Deathly Hallows. <3

happy belated birthday, Neville. you rule. (=

on a sidenote, i TOTALLY need to get me the 'Welcome to the House of Awesome' CD by The Whomping Willows. T_T i need to get a paypal account somehow.

horrificwhisper @ 2007-07-30T15:42:00

2007-07-30T13:44:29Z

Your Score: 9 3/4", Oak, Phoenix

You scored 36 wisdom, 38 bravery, 10 emotional, and 27 martyrdom!

Oak signifies wisdom, endurance, protection, and authority. The phoenix tail feather as your core means that you have the capability to be an extremely powerful wizard or witch and that you will defend those you love at all costs.

Link: The Harry Potter Wand Test written by sputnik845 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

SPOILER O' D00M.

2007-07-25T16:07:17Z

My Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom is:
Draco Malfoy becomes Prime Minister because J K Rowling got bored
Get your Harry Potter Spoiler of Doom

ahaha. jk.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

2007-07-17T22:20:11Z

J.K. is going to tear out my heart, chew it into thousands of little pieces and spit it out again in 3 days. I just know she will. D=

P.S. i think i stumbled on a major spoiler after so successfully avoiding all of it today. it BETTER not be true or i WILL rip out someone's intestines. preferably those of the MOTHERFUCKING BITCH WHO ABSOLUTELY FAILED TO PUT GIGANTIC SPOILER WARNINGS ON HER SHITTY ART BEFORE POSTING IT TO DA.
stupid cunt.

ootp

2007-07-11T01:19:03Z

harry potter and the order of the phoenix was actually fairly good. O=

kann ein herz aus stein sein?

2007-06-22T14:54:51Z

You scored as Sorceress, Your a sorceress. You cast a spell on people the first time you meet them, and you love for them to depend on you. You get upset when things don't go your way. Well, guess what, your in for a shock, 'cause you don't always get what you want.

</td>

Sorceress

92%

Dragon

67%

Drow

67%

Vampyre

67%

Goddess

67%

Elf

58%

Zombie

58%

Wolf

58%

Shadow Spirit

42%

Faerie

42%

What ancient breed are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

*pouts* I wanted to be a Drago- oh darn, I DON'T always get what I want. XD;; But yay, Sorceress is pretty cool too!

another meme

2007-06-15T12:19:50Z

Comment and I'll give you a letter. In your journal, list 10 of your ~~favorite~~ songs that begin with that letter.
(Well my computer crashed so I don't have half the songs I used to have! XD I don't know if I can find 10 that even begin with D, let alone 10 I like.)

Anyway, this was yanked from wannabelg. O=

1. Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin
2. Die motherfucker die - Dope
3. Down with the sickness - Disturbed
4. Die my bride - The Murderdolls
5. Das Modell - Rammstein
6. Du Hast - Rammstein
7. Dani California - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
8. Dragula - Rob Zombie
9. Driven - Sevendust
10. Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins

Wow, this wasn't so hard after all! O= I even like these songs. XD

zombie attack. O=

2007-06-14T22:00:43Z

Your Livejournal zombie attack.

LiveJournal Username

The name of your zombie infested home town.

Your zombie killing weapon of choice.

How much do zombies scare you?

Oh noes!!11 A zombie! What do you do?

Blasting zombies left and right with a freaking twelve guage. What do you think?

little_ribbon

Curled into a fetal position crying their eyes out.

gunstimulator

Is pwning some zombies with Don't Stop Me Now playing in the background.

twizted_maze

Is sitting at home watching CNN and eating ice cream.

ellaliny

Get ripped to pieces by the zombies. Bummer.

wizard_howl

Is the zombie king who you must destroy to end the zombie menace.

gunstimulator

Number of zombies you decapitate.

486

Chances you survive the zombie swarm.

27%

This Fun Quiz created by Rob at BlogQuiz.Net

Taurus Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

O=

2007-06-06T18:54:42Z

Your Score: Yuurei

You scored 14 in Malice and 23 in Chaos!

The Yuurei are the lost souls of those whose lives were abruptly ended in the midst of great distress or emotion. They are pale, white spectres nearly indistinguishable from humans, except that they possess no legs, indicative of their detachment from the earthly world. Yuurei haunt the place of their deaths, waiting for the opportunity to fulfil some incomplete purpose.

Yuurei are more commonly female than male, victims of male cruelty or neglect. Those who become Yuurei typically die violent deaths, whether by suicide or by murder; they become trapped on earth until they have taken care of unfinished business. Male Yuurei are less common, although a slain warrior may become one in order to set the record straight regarding the manner of his death, i.e. to clear his name from disgrace.

Although most Yuurei are relatively harmless, some may become "Obake-Yuurei," or monster ghosts. Obake-Yuurei, instead of restricting their passions to reasonable limits, are wont to loose their rage and sorrow on any people who happen to be unlucky enough to pass by.

Link: The Japanese Demon Profile Test written by Maharbal on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

see you at the bitter end.

another year started!

horrificwhisper @ 2009-02-16T20:49:00

because wordles are awesome.

Conquest 2008; snippet

Writer's Block: In the Event of a Zombie Emergency

horrificwhisper @ 2008-07-25T16:22:00

on top of the world

eh.

*enter superiority complex*

horrificwhisper @ 2008-03-18T19:06:00

still not dead

30 seconds to mars at amsterdam

art farts.

music meme

My Liberal Identity:

er. right.

fire

happy birthdayyy!

horrificwhisper @ 2007-07-30T15:42:00

Your Score: 9 3/4", Oak, Phoenix

You scored 36 wisdom, 38 bravery, 10 emotional, and 27 martyrdom!

SPOILER O' D00M.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

ootp

kann ein herz aus stein sein?

another meme

zombie attack. O=

O=

Your Score: Yuurei

You scored 14 in Malice and 23 in Chaos!

enter superiority complex